Top 5 Lifestyle Recs for Better Sleep
Getting Good Sleep is Difficult
Sleep. Oh, sleep. Most people have had trouble sleeping at some point in their lives.
I remember during difficult nights as a boy going downstairs to wake up my parents and let them know that I couldn’t sleep. My dad, someone who has never had an issue with sleep, was responsible for managing my little issue. He would spend unhurried time at my bedside giving me his best sleep-inducing massage therapy (gotta admit, it was some high quality stuff!).
In my young adult years, high-school, college, and as a young professional, I often self-medicated with alcohol, marijuana, Xanax and other sleep aids. These methods helped me fall asleep but certainly didn’t contribute to the highest quality sleep.
Throughout my life, it always seemed to me that no one around me was struggling with sleep to the extent I was, and I started to believe that “something was wrong with me.”
Being willing to address underlying physical and emotional hurdles that are impairing sleep can be an important first step. For me, not being able to sleep would often trigger fear and self doubts that stemmed from this belief that “something is wrong with me”. I started to benefit from learning how to feel my emotions and reframe my mindset to one that was more self-compassionate and accepting.
Sleep is important. Absolutely mission-critical to this whole well-being thing. I don’t feel the need to summarize the sleep science in this entry because the emphasis and value of sleep seem more widely accepted and understood than ever. Instead, I’ll focus on sharing my own lifestyle changes that have served me and are easy to adopt in your life.
How to Sleep Well
I’ve learned that not being able to sleep sucks. But, instead of just accepting that I’m a bad sleeper and believing something was fundamentally wrong with me, I shifted my approach. I became interested and curious in my own experience and hopeful that things could be different. I committed to self-education and experimentation with different practices to learn firsthand whether better sleep was possible for me.
While I don’t claim to have it all figured out, I’m currently sleeping better than I ever have in my life. And with this improved sleep, I am feeling the benefits in my everyday life: More energy, stronger body, clearer mind and an improved sense of overall wellbeing.
Below are my 5 best lifestyle recommendations for better sleep that anyone can start implementing today:
1. Reframe Your Mindset
How do you relate with your sleep challenges? Do you fear that you will be unable to function the next day with one night of poor sleep? Do you believe that something is wrong with you and you are irreparable?
I used to experience these types of feelings. First of all, it’s important to recognize that it’s ok to have a bad night of sleep. You might not be your highest version of yourself, but you’re going to be ok and certainly much more functional than your mind tries to convince you. Try to release the self-inflicted pressure that one night of no sleep will be the end of the world. Because it’s not.
Second, I can confidently say that we all need to be more self-compassionate. Particularly those whom struggle with sleep and are aware that they have a pattern of negative self-talk. Instead of being critical of yourself and body, try being highly interested in what your body might be attempting to communicate to you and what might your body and mind need to relax and feel safe. This is what our [nervous] systems are ultimately seeking: A sense of safety and security.
2. Use Your Breath
How can can you communicate safety to the body? Enter, the breath.
The breath is a bridge between the conscious and unconscious. It is regulated unconsciously by the autonomic nervous system (we don’t need to tell our bodies to breathe), yet we also have the ability to consciously manipulate it.
We can use conscious control of the breath to down-regulate the nervous system. In other words, to directly communicate to the nervous system that we are safe (aka “no worries, all is good here nervous system!”). Once the nervous system feels adequately safe, it will allow our bodies and minds to get that much-needed beauty sleep.
So how exactly do we manipulate the breath to support down-regulation/relaxation? Lengthening our exhalations is one way to communicate safety is present - think long, smooth, and even exhales. There are countless breathwork practices, but here are a couple that I enjoy and would encourage you to explore for yourself.
3. Find a Routine
Find a bed time that supports your desired hours of sleep (ideally 7+ hrs) and a nightly routine of activities or rituals that are calming for you. These activities/rituals are signaling to your nervous system that it’s time (and safe) to let go and wind down. These calming exercises can be considered self-care (more on self-care in #4 below).
Do your best to make your nightly routine the norm (at least 4 out of 7 nights during the week). Of course there will always be special occasions, but having a strong, foundational routine allows for these special occasions to not throw us off too much.
4. Make Self-Care a Daily Event
Self-care is is something that feels good and calming for you. Self-care is too often correlated with an exotic vacation and margaritas on the beach. That can be self care for some, but what I’m referring to is something that is accessible and practiced on a daily basis.
I believe the number one most important thing when it comes to self care is not feeling rushed. Allow it to be unplanned, allow yourself to do literally whatever you want, but do your best to relieve self-induced pressure and connect with the feeling of unhurried time.
It doesn’t have to be a long, intricate routine. For me, it’s a simply silencing the phone and getting at least a few pages of reading in. My legs are stretched out and I remind myself that there’s no rush to go to sleep.
5. The Age-Old Advice Still Works
Don’t discount these widely-accepted recommendations. I know I’m not the only one who has been guilty of one final scroll through instagram before shutting my eyes to sleep. That said, I’m more aware than ever that this habit is not supportive of my best sleep and have definitely decreased its frequency.
Below are some key lifestyle considerations when it comes to sleep:
Exercise daily
Get sun daily (if possible)
Be aware of caffeine’s effect on you (especially in the afternoon)
Avoid screen time (especially scrolling!) right before bed and avoid bright light in general before bed
Avoid eating right before bed
…
Just know, if you are struggling with sleep, you are not alone. And you are not flawed. You’ve been presented a life challenge, that if approached with the right mindset can lead to significant self growth and development. A recent teacher of mine said: “The biggest things we have to work on are the biggest things we have to offer.”
I hope that you take some value from my personal reflections while continuing to embrace your own personal exploration.
To MÁS sleep and MÁS health,
In gratitude,
Drew
